Future Of Town To Be Determined By Board That Can't Figure Out How To Join Zoom

WEB.ZOOM.US— Members tasked by the Town Council with making critical decisions that will determine municipal finances, policies, and operations for the next decade were again unable to commence their fifth regularly scheduled meeting due to [self-inflicted] technological issues with Zoom, the ubiquitous video conferencing platform.

“I just wish they would leave everything the way it is” said one attendee believing their microphone was on mute.”

Focused on “helping modernize the town, address the housing crisis, and ensure a more equitable future,” the Board was unable to reach a quorum as two members couldn’t log-in, a third couldn’t get their [un-plugged] headphones to work, and the Chairman was erroneously logged into Microsoft Teams.

The nine member board, consisting of a representative sample of townsfolk with every-other Tuesday night free, could not vote on the night’s agenda when the screen-share function could not be found, but one member attempted to hold a print version of the agenda up to the camera.