Report: 73% Of Vermont Economy Tied To Coziness Industry

Members of the Vermont Economic Progress Council hold an off-site meeting.

BURLINGTON– Economists clad in soft, warm flannel announced Thursday that their 2022 market analysis determined that almost 3/4ths of the State of Vermont’s economy can be tied directly or indirectly to the manufacturing, sale, and use of cozy-related goods and services.

Speaking from the porch of a hand-hewn log cabin built on a local maple syrup farm, each member of the panel of experts took turns rising from their Adirondack chair to address the audience of journalists wearing a variety of sweaters draped around their shoulders.

“This can be a tough state to do business in,” said the chair of the UVM Economics Department, tucking a hand-woven blanket from Johnson Woolen Mills across her lap. “It’s been impressive to see Darn Tough socks expand their operation to a point where they are one of the region’s largest employers and the official footwear of the State.”

Conference attendees were served fluffy scones from King Arthur Flour, topped with slow-churned butter from the Norwich Farm Creamery and a maple cream spread from Plummer’s Sugar House.

The Vermont Deputy Secretary of Commerce, whose remarks were interrupted when he paused to carefully blow rising steam from his hand-thrown clay mug of organic hot cocoa, attributed much of the recent growth to out-of-state travellers visiting the State’s many warm and inviting inns.

“Whether curling up with a book from a local author next to a crackling fireplace in Woodstock after a day touring the fall foliage, or basking in the summer sun on a warm dock along the shore of Lake Champlain, Vermont is among the comfiest states in the Nation.”

“And don’t forget about Winter,” he added, “we are among the country’s leading exporters of Christmas trees that families gather ‘round each December to share good tidings and exchange gifts from the wide selection at Farm-Way.”

The travel restrictions imposed during the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in a significant reduction of New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts tourists, and the associated economic downturn had some local Scandinavian-inspired ski chalet rental companies worried. But many believe it made the region even more comfortable and enjoyable for most Vermonters.

Conversely, Vermont Castings has reported an uptick in wood-stove sales as home-bound families hunkered down for the long cold months, and Farmhouse Pottery has been doing a brisk business selling bowls for enjoying hearty soups around Pompanousic Mills’ dining room tables.

The Vermont Teddy Bear Factory, still recovering from a 2018 lawsuit in which they were accused of improperly disposing of stuffing effluents, remains one of the states largest industrial producers of snuggliness.

The Vermont Flannel Company says their five retail locations simply can’t keep up with demand for robes that hug you in a familiar warm embrace, and have continued to expand to farmer’s markets where the scent of hot mulled apple cider wafts across their 1-piece and 2-piece pajama sets.

Industry watchdogs have accused Vermont Gov. Phil Scott of being too cozy with the cozy industry, but voters have been willing to look the other way.   

“Quite frankly he is the last Republican leader in America that doesn’t make us extremely uncomfortable,” said his 81% approval rating.