Local Planning Board Deadlocked On Pizza Decision; Hearing Continued To Next Month

Artist’s rendering of the pizza being considered. (Illustration courtesy of that binder of all the menus.)

The critical need for pizza continues after lengthy discussions yielded no productive outcome on the seemingly simple issue put forth to the board.

CITY HALL – The Planning Board was unable to come to consensus Monday night on what pizza to order, which resulted in the decision being postponed until a special hearing can be convened in two weeks. Board Members and public citizens in attendance voiced their frustration with the process, saying that they are once again going home hungry after wasting three hours talking about a decision that shouldn’t be that difficult.    

The need for pizza has been the topic of numerous meetings in towns throughout the area, but despite the fact that everyone is hungry little has been done to address the shortage.

“What a colossal waste of time,” said a citizen who declined to give their name, “this Board is supposed to facilitate pizza decisions and yet they waste everyone’s time talking about different types of toppings they’ve seen on other pizzas.”

The proposal to order pizza has been before the Planning Board since September of 2019, after special legislation specifically encouraging ordering pizza was approved by the City Council.

After two hours of deliberations a straw-poll vote was taken which resulted in a 4-4 tie after the Vice Chairman had to recuse himself after it was disclosed that he owns property within 1,000-feet of a Ramuntos.

The Chairman reminded the Board that they had spent considerable time at previous meetings debating the merits of ordering pizza, and that the Planning Department had tried their best over the last month to answer questions about toppings, cheese types, and ‘whether the boxes were made of recycled cardboard’ that arose from members.

The Senior Planner & Zoning Administrator apologized that the pizza menus were not included in the packet of information provided to the Board in advance, before passing around a 3-ring binder full of delivery menus from local restaurants.

Multiple members expressed their frustration with being asked to make such an important decision without time to fully review the specific details of the pizza being proposed that evening.

“This isn’t as easy as ordering a cheese pizza,” said a Board Member, “the proposal before us is for a very complex Meat Lover’s Pizza, and we are being asked to decide about a lot of toppings that quite frankly I don’t believe this Board is prepared to discuss yet. Am I seeing Ham here, is there Ham on this pizza? We just need more information.”

“I agree,” said another Board Member, “I would love to say yes to this, but I’m not even sure if members of this Board qualify as Meat Lovers. This is being positioned as a very simple decision, but it now feels very divisive and it fails to take into account the concerns of non-meat eaters, vegetarians, vegans, and those who are lactose intolerant or just choose not to eat cheese.”

The Chairman asked for a show of hands to determine if anyone on the Board or in the audience was opposed to the idea of pizza, but no one raised their hand.

“I would eat a slice. I think most of us would be fine with a slice of anything that was ordered, we just want pizza,” said a local resident in the audience, before she was interrupted and informed that the Hearing had not yet reached the time for public comment.

“There are a lot of people who have lived in this City for years who just simply don’t like pizza no matter what is on it,” one Board Member interjected.

The hearing was then briefly sidetracked when a Board Member asked if any restaurants deliver waffles.

The Planning and Zoning Director patiently reminded the Board Member that waffles are generally considered a breakfast food, and that since the Planning Board was meeting in the evening it was generally agreed upon that they should try to focus their conversation– if not solely on pizza, then at least on dinner foods.

“Well I don’t know that I agree with that,” said the Board Member, “there are a lot of types of waffles, some of which are round like a pizza, and I think we should take the time to fully consider that pizza may not be the only option.”

The resultant 45-minute debate over the fairness of categorizing foods by meal time ended only when the Planning & Zoning Director agreed to study it further and provide a memo in advance of the next hearing on the matter.

“Unfortunately I don’t think we are going to reach a decision this evening,” said the exasperated Chairman, “I’m afraid we are going to have to continue this until next month, at which point hopefully we will have more information and members can arrive prepared to vote quickly so we don’t leave everyone hungry again.”

After the meeting was closed at 9:45PM, applicants and consultants for the other four unheard items on the evening’s agenda were overheard in the hallway asking if the pizza place nextdoor was still open because they desperately needed a drink.